14th May 2013
First thing in the morning was to do laundry. Meaning, I had to carry 6-7 kilogrammes of wet clothes for approximately 400 meters in the rain to put them in a drying machine. But today, I’m overwhelmed with a strange sense of peace and uncertainty. Later, I had to walk approximately another kilometer to reach a friend’s house to deliver her badminton racquet (which I strung). Then I spent the rest of my time in the library. I’ve been here for 4 hours now and its only 4.33pm. Felt like forever, but I’m also busy with stuff at the same time. Then things got a bit sour, I got some bad news from Ceci. She’s having a really really rough day. I promised her that everything was going to be fine, but yet things still turn out like that. It felt like I lied to her, that I’ve made her believe in some fairy tale to only break her heart hours later. I was angry.
But at the same time, I also received some good news from my dearest. She had an opportunity to help a patient by translating languages. I know these opportunities are rare and I’m so proud of her taking this up with pride. I’m in the library but my mind is filled with images of her helping a pregnant lady going through labour. I closed my eyes and I see her holding a stranger’s hand like its happening in front of me. I can’t help but shed tears of joy. And I’m still in the library by myself.
Just moments ago, I opened my file to find some documents and I found something that really pushed me over the edge.
Today is a day of duality for me. I feel both happy and sad. Satisfied and disappointed. Lazy and motivated. Strong and weak. My only lifetime wish is that I am strong enough to make her happy for the rest of her life.